Finding out why Children Do What They Do.
 |
Pip the parrot says: you're perfectly fine! Image: courtesy of Ms Author |
Childhood is the most vulnerable part of a human’s lifetime. This is where it all begins, a moment where a parent or guardians could fall short or do it right. That’s why the things a child is exposed to at this stage in life are very crucial. The things a child is exposed to during their infancy will shape their future and the way in which they perceive things, others, and even themselves. An average child is born with a brain that’s a quarter of that of an average adult. At 3 years old, they have 80% developed brain, and by 5 years it will be 90% developed.
They are not born with a fully developed brain. The brain develops with experiences, but what kind of experiences are those ?
So early experiences are important, whether positive or negative. Their problem-solving skills, empathy and self-control must be formed at these ages; having to build them later in life is going to be harder. Give children the best start in life.
It all starts with a good relationship and having responsive and dependable caregivers. This early experience will be mirrored by the relationships a child will later have with others. They turn out to be empathetic because that’s what their brains have been fed: ‘empathy’ and ‘positivity’ . They are unlikely to mirror something foreign like antisocial behaviour.
A good ‘serve and return’ is needed to maintain all of that.
This is where infants starts expressing themselves: smiling at you, crying, laughing , pointing at an object, clapping their hands, or touching you. This is called serving. Then the care giver picks the baby up when they cry, laughs with them, names an object the baby is pointing at, and smiles after being touched. That is the return, and then the child will respond to the return. This repeated back-and-forth is essentially the earliest form of communication.
But why does something so ordinary matter so much?
Unfortunately, it’s not as ordinary as it seems. It builds up expectations and teaches them that their communication has a meaning.
Their developing brain begins building expectations about relationships and communication.
How to help them develop a healthy communication skills ?
Whenever a baby tries to communicate something or express themselves, how and when you respond will set a pattern for them. For example, a baby makes a sound, “Ma-ma-ma.” The adult responds, “Ma-ma-ma”, are you calling me? The baby pauses. The adult waits.The baby makes another sound. The adult responds again.
This builds a healthy communication pattern. The baby makes a sound, you listen then respond , they listen to your response , then they respond again. It also helps them with paying attention.
It might sound subtle but it matters the most to a brain that’s still developing.
Healthy development isn’t dependent on perfect interactions. What matters is the overall pattern of responsive relationships. A good care giver can be responsive without giving a baby everything they want. They can try to explain to them why they can’t do or say certain things in a healthy way. A responsive and dependable caregiver is a trusted caregiver.
Sometimes, the simplest conversation can open the biggest conversations. Interactive books can give an adult a chance to learn their children . A simple prompt such as “What would you rather do whenever you feel big emotions?” can become more than an activity, it can give an adult a glimpse into how a child seeks comfort, connection and support.
Comments
Post a Comment